Booger Milk
by theRegalBeagle
Summary: Cain/Glitch and Jeb/Az implied. Jeb has a problem and Glitch wants to help. To bad there's milk. yes, this is stupid .


**Title:** Why Cain Doesn't Eat Breakfast With Glitch Anymore  
**Pairing:** Cain/Glitch  
**Warnings:** Mature concepts.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tin Man. I'm sure I'm not the first in saying…damn.

This is what happens when I put random thoughts together. And for the love of God, don't expect much.

* * *

It was a beautiful morning at the Finaqua Palace and Cain and Glitch sat in their room eating their breakfast. The balcony door was open, letting in a cool breeze and the scent of flowers. The couple could hear the birds chirp and the trees sway.

As Cain took the cup of milk offered to him from Glitch, Jeb came stalking into the room. His face showed obvious distress and when he slouched down in the chair across of Cain he let out a desperate sigh. The oldest Cain continued to eat his eggs, Glitch still completely oblivious to the current situation as he chewed away happily.

Jeb sighed again.

Putting his fork down Cain wiped his mouth off and sat back, staring at his son.

"What's wrong now?"

"Woman troubles." Glitch's eyes turned to Jeb and a look of interest took over. Cain rolled his eyes.

"New red-headed recruit?"

"Nope."

"…DG?"

"Nope."

"……Azkadellia?"

"Gods, yes!" Jeb let his forehead hit the table. Cain nodded and watched him and Glitch watched as Jeb screamed into his lap.

"What happened?" Jeb looked up.

"Nothing happened! That's the problem. We've been going out for the past month and now…things are getting serious." Wyatt's eyebrow rose. He knew his son and the oldest princess had started something. But a part of him didn't really want to believe it. Yet the other part of him knew that his son was happy with the relationship and that was all that mattered.

"Son, how serious?" Jeb blushed. His words stuttered out.

"Um…we kind of almost…did it." Glitch, who had been drinking his cup of milk at the time, almost choked as it came squirting out of his nose in one long blast. His chair flew back and he landed on the floor with a thud.

Cain, ignoring his fallen lover, rested his elbows on the table. Jeb couldn't help but look down at the headcase.

"I take it something stopped you two from kind of almost doing it?" Jeb nodded in embarrassment. Ashamed of his own curiosity Cain leaned in closer. "What?"

Glitch's head popped up, his ears wide.

"I don't feel comfortable saying, dad."

"You know you can tell me, Jeb. I'm here for you." Glitch sat back up in his chair and looked back and forth from both Cain men.

"Okay." Cain picked up his glass and began to drink, "I'm thinking my penis is too small." Suddenly a wave of milk came exploding out of Cain's nose, the noise bouncing off of the walls. Glitch, now growing concerned, leaned in. Thinking he was resting his elbows on the table the headcase's arms fell onto a plate of syrupy pancakes.

"That's a silly thing to think, Jeb!" He said, ignoring Cain's nose wiping and shocked face.

"Why's that?"

"Glitch could I handle this please?" Cain shut up when a hand was placed across his mouth.

"Drink your milk, Cain. I can handle this! Now Jeb, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."

"Why?" Glitch sat back and crossed his arms, the syrup dripping down his clothing.

"Like father like son, right?" Another explosion of milk erupted from Cain's nostrils, hitting Jeb right in his bright red face.

"GLITCH!!"

"What?! I'm right, and you know it!!"

"THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE AT BREAKFAST!"

"NIETHER IS SQUIRITING MILK OUT YOUR NOSE, BUT THERE YOUR FACE IS ACTING LIKE A COW!"

"THAT'S IT! I'M NOT EATING BREAKFAST WITH YOU EVER AGAIN!"

"Maybe I should leave…"

"GREAT! NOW YOU MADE THE BOY UNCOMFORTABLE!"

"WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST BLOW SOME MORE BOOGER MILK INTO HIS FACE, CAIN!?"

"FORGET IT! I'M LEAVING!"

"GOOD! DON'T FORGET YOUR MILK! I'D HATE TO BE THE CAUSE OF THE QUEEN NOT RECEIVING THE SAME LOVE AS YOUR SON!" Cain stomped out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Jeb sat, opened mouth.

There was a long silence.

"No, but seriously you have nothing to worry about."

"…………yeah."

* * *

A/N: yeah is right, Jeb. Yeah is right...


End file.
